When I write, just about anything, I think its not good enough. I can find the potential to write something quite stunning, but people only believe that if I use hard words, difficult meanings, abstract proverbs and relevant interperations, only then I have written something good. Effort is not good enough these days for people. The audience has gotten much more tougher.
Its not only the audience, but its me. I force myself to add something impressing or abstract to impress other people. In a world of tiigers and lions, simplicity doesn't cut it. It has to be a little complicated. If it is "simple and good", it will not be as great as the "complicated and good" piece, since people tend to find art in advanced work. Thats all the "New York Bestseller's List" is all about. All the complicated works of art such as "The Lovely Bones" and "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" have sold millions. There are few books in the world which are simple and have achieved a lot. This is why my favorite book is "The Little Prince" It has an amazing story with such simplicity. The Writer just goes with the flow creating the story of a little boy with a bing imagination into a masterpeice.
I add difficult things to it, because I fear that people will overlook how I write and think of me as just another person randomly putting pen to paper without a reason and style, when I want a style and I want a way to show them I can write, that is if I CAN write. I want to be unique in what I do. I fear that no one may ever see the potenial I have and that I can be good. When I write, I have no idea if it's good or if it's bad. I can never even tell by people's opinions because I rarley show them. I don't show it to people, because everyone's a critic. As wise poet once said "Art is long and crtics are but the insects of a day." I don't know if thats true, because their opinions reflect the amount of people who trust thhe critics and will risk their time to see the writing. A time when age is the altar of our lives and we seek to worship only that that is praised by others too.
Some people read something and if they cannot understand it, they consider it to be advanced when it can be just a tangle of words and a blasphemy to literature. People overlook thier own opinions, because of critics.
At times, I feel as If I just want to write, write something that may make no sense at all to people, because my imaginaton fills in the little gaps in the story that most people wouldn't do, therefore making my work a sort of incomprehensible piece, that is if you can even call it work.
At times I refer to my writings in such advanced terms such as "Works" and "Pieces". This makes me feel like I really am a writer, but I don't know as of yet, since people's judgement is always based upon other people's opinions. Their thoughts are clouded by past readings and the elements in them that make a writing what it is and this puts a critic inside all of us which informs to praise the art or despise it. No one can really tell who is a writer and what makes them who they are. As Stephen King once mentioned in On Writing, "Fiction Writers, present company included, don't understand very much what they do- not why it works when it's good, not when it doesn't when it's bad." Mr King presumes he does know how he is blessed with success. I doubt it.
I cannot write anything without knowing it will be worth my time. Every "work" is just another work. We at times ask ourselves how long it is. We see the lenght and judge it by that. Now I'm no Shakesphere and I don't know if half the things I'm saying is right, But one thing I do know is that I'm insecure about writing at times.
I think before I write. Is it worthwhile? Will is impress people? Will it be good?
I can never find the answer to any of these questions, but then I listen to an amazing song reminding me to not care.
Whatever by Oasis is a song that reminds me not to be what others want me to be. It reminds me of a joyful time when I used to write without care for anything and just for the hell of it. Now Oasis is not my savior but it is a symbol of what trigged a thought in my mind.
I at times don't care if people like it or not or if they agree to it. I don't care if they will read it or if they will judge it unaccordingly, I just WRITE.
I write WHATEVER I want to write making me, me. I don't listen to critisim or if my work will be as good as someone else. I won't compare, complain, care or strain. I will just write, for the heck of it. Even if my work may be polluted by past works I've read or critisim that people lay upon me, I break through the limits and just write what I feel like writing. I write and I escape.
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